Mari Deweese

If You're 16, It's Only Statutory,
and If You Were Drinking,
You Go to Juvie For It
I walked into my house
(was it really my house?) and saw
my uncle and aunt waiting, smiling,
eyes strained
from the terror and panic
of the last two days, both glancing
at my father following in behind me,
and I said, I think
I'd like to take
a long shower. And they all nodded
and let me pass, a ghost walking
the hallway,
fingers reaching out
to touch walls as if they weren't
really there (but they seemed solid
enough?) and into
the bathroom I went, alien,
and ran the hot water, touching
my arms and legs and face, pulling
bits of leaves out
of my tangled hair,
scrubbing at some foul unknown
odors soaked into my skin (how
did I end up
smelling like this?) and after
it was over, I thought that it was over,
but that was half my life ago and I
am still
finding bits
that I never have been able to wash
completely out.